More customers, more productivity, more profit. Guaranteed.

That’s my USP (unique selling proposition), but some might also call it my mission statement. I don’t really look at it like a mission statement by someone’s pure definition, but in a lot of ways – they are the same thing.

So why is it that and not something like “blah blah blah optimal blah blah blah cohesive blah blah blah forward-thinking blah blah solutions blah blah blah”? (as spoken by Charlie Brown’s teacher)

Other than the fact that I can actually *remember* the short one, it’s because I’ve been through the process Dan Heath describes below in this short 3 minute video:

It’s usually an AWFUL process and interestingly enough – after all that self-inflicted punishment, I always work my way back to the original statement and keep it because it’s short and powerful. It doesn’t have a lot of crap, wordsmithing or baggage. Believe me, I’ve tried adding words to it like “I help small business get …” and so on.

EVERY time, I end up pulling those things out.

Norm at Norm’s News in Kalispell says “Eat dessert first”, for example. They sell old-fashioned candy, milk shakes like your great grandpa talks about and so on.

Is yours short and powerful?

Is yours not only short enough to remember, but powerful and impactful enough to act on and motivate others? I hope so.

Don’t stop there – Now apply this to your marketing message(s).

If they feel like something that came from the meeting described in the video, ask yourself a few questions:

• Could this be why your marketing is so darned boring?
• Is this why your response rate is 0.005%?

Uh, yeah. Probably so.

Take that dude with the corporate-speak hat out in the parking lot and have him park cars, wax deck chairs or something until that stuff clears out of his mind. Maybe toss one of Seth’s books at him.

No matter what – take a firehose to that vocabulary. It’s boring, it doesn’t stand out in any crowd and it sure doesn’t compel anyone to do business with you – not even the stodgiest of companies.

Now, start over. Remember what you wanted to do when you started this thing? Remember the stuff you do for customers that gets you jacked up? Remember the thing that you’d rather do than almost anything (yeah, besides “that” and skiing, of course).

That’s what your mission – and most likely your USP – is all about.

Update: A nice resource from Dan and Chip Heath to help you get this process right, tossing out the stuff you dont need.

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photo credit: Furryscaly

Remember the outrageous 7/70 bumper-to-bumper warranty Chrysler introduced back in the early 1980s when they introduced K-cars?

At the time, Chrysler’s quality problems were front and center reasons to avoid buying their cars. Likewise, major car manufacturers limited long-term warranty coverage to the engine and powertrain (ie: transmission, axles and such).

Iacocca came up with the “outrageous” warranty to get people past the quality question so they would  give Chrysler’s cars a chance. He knew the warranty was only good to get them INTO the cars – they’d have to meet their quality goals or that warranty would bankrupt them.

High Anxiety

While the warranty was a big change for car owners, the main purpose was to provide a little anxiety release. To get you to realize that Chrysler’s quality had changed, so much so that they were willing to cover *everything*, and thus, you could trust them to buy their vehicles.

Obviously, it worked. The K-cars saved Chrysler (for the time being, at least) and they paid back the then-controversial billion dollar loan (guaranteed by Congress) in 3 years, rather than the required 10.

It should be noted that Iacocca says much of the reason to pay the loan off quickly was to get the Feds out of his business. No question there is lots of controversy about the 1979 bailout / loan guarantee and the terms that went with it, but that isn’t the topic of the day.

Fast forward to today – when you wouldn’t dream of buying a car without a very-long-term bumper-to-bumper warranty.

So what does your business do in an environment of high buyer anxiety?

Remove the anxiety

Hopefully the obvious answer is to remove it.

Back in the Granite Bear days, we found some buyer anxiety issues cropping up. The few people who would ask for a refund would do so right at the deadline date. In almost every case, we found that those were also the folks who hadn’t started using the software yet. They were worried they’d be stuck with it and having not tried it, the obvious thing to do was ask for a refund.

One of our solutions was to extend our 30 day money-back guarantee to 60 day and then to a whole year. As I’ve noted before, some people thought we were nuts and would give back tons of refunds on day 364, but that ignores the reason people bought business management software in the first place – to manage their business and save them time. Who in their right mind would invest a year into integrating software into their business (and vice versa) and then toss it out the door on a specific day? That’s nuts.

In our case, we knew that if they really *used* it for a year, they’d never ask for their money back. We were right and it made a huge difference in sales, despite seeming like an insane thing to do. Our upfront costs of sales and implementation were mostly buried by day 30 (and definitely by day 60), so it made no difference whether we gave back the software on day 60 or day 364.

We also implemented other things that got them moving right away – another guarantee. Do you have specific guarantees for different parts of your business?

Recessionary buybacks

Recently, you’ve seen a number of major car companies offer to buy your car back if you lose your job – and that’s after they make several months of payments for you.

Hyundai started it and several other manufacturers felt the pressure to follow suit.

As I hear it, one very dark economic area’s local Hyundai dealer had their best weekend *ever* after corporate started offering these deals.

Something else that tells you about people in a recession: They aren’t all broke. If the buyback changed car buying behavior of a large group of people – did it also put a bunch of money in their pocket?

Of course not. Clearly they had the ability (and desire) to buy, but their anxiety about the future kept them from buying.

Your turn

In my case, I guarantee my marketing / strategic planning work.

Some people suggest that I’m nuts to do that. I might be nuts, but that has little to do with the fact that I’ve never been asked for a refund.

Meanwhile, it’s a huge differentiating factor because almost no other consultant guarantees their work. They either don’t have the confidence in their work, or the gumption to hang that guarantee out there – likely for fear that someone will use it. Maybe that even tells you something about the work product they provide from a strategic perspective.

Someday, someone might ask for a refund. Even if they do, it’s a great anxiety reliever for every other client – regardless of the economy.

What are you doing to take your clients’ anxiety off the table (or reduce it substantially) and get them from thinking to taking action/buying?

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photo credit: freeparking

In today’s guest post from TED, Dan Ariely talks about why we make decisions and how we are influenced.

There are several pieces of this presentation that apply directly to traditional or online direct marketing of the stuff you do and sell, much less knowing a little more about what makes your internal decision tree tick.

Use what Dan discusses to analyze what kind of decisions you offer your customers and prospects. It’s all part of that “What do they buy the least of that they really need the most?” question. Part 2 of the question might be – “…and how do you get them to buy what they *really really* need?”

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photo credit: Sabbath Photography

So far it’s been an incredible year for snow in the Northwest.

Two feet in the Washington DC area is a Snowpocalypse?

That’s nothing.

We have 8 feet of fresh pow* in Montana, Utah, Wyoming and Colorado. It’s so deep, we’re carving mad turns in our driveways and carrying avalanche beacons when we go out to get the mail.

Come out and join us and ski and ride your brains out!

Oh wait. Maybe not that much snow, but come on out anyhow.

Which truth is real?

As with other markets where misinformation can lead a customer astray, the internet has a way of finding the truth, even about mad pow*.

When skiers and snowboarders hop off the lift expecting to find the foot of fresh powder mentioned in the snow report and instead, find a couple inches of popcorn**, it doesn’t excite them.

When skiers and snowboard riders find a few feet of waist-deep powdery goodness, they can now use their cell phones to report snow conditions via Facebook, Twitter and this killer skier/snowboarder snow report app.

This app has forced resorts to come clean on their snow reports.

Thing is, it isn’t just snow conditions that are available in (close to) real-time from a source that’s cutting turns in it right now. Whatever you do, there is likely an enthusiast community talking about it

Whether we’re talking about stream flows, fish and wildlife migration, trail conditions, road conditions, whiter whites and brighter brights, parking availability, meal quality, service quality and more…it’s out there on the net for the savvy customer who wants to check you out before buying.

Help them find it – and don’t claim to be shredding pow in your driveway unless you really are

* Translation: Fresh, deep, powdery snow, often blamed for high levels of absenteeism at work and/or school.

** Translation: smallish, hard popcorn-looking snow that looks like that stuff sprayed on ceilings in office buildings and homes. Not really what you want to ski/ride on, but still better than a good day at work.

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photo credit: shoothead

You’ve probably seen people on Twitter or Facebook yammering about “Wow, I only need 17 more followers or fans to hit 2000″ (or  10000 or whatever).

If you’ve used Twitter, you know that there’s a curve there and when you round it, it’s like drinking from a firehose.

Stowe Boyd talks a little about the social media scoreboard in today’s guest post, stating that quality rather than quantity is the important factor.

Remember that each of those fans or followers are people. They have needs, wants and presumably they followed/fan’d you because they thought you had something to say. “I’m having a waffle” just isn’t it.

@BillGates doesn’t have 400-500k people following him on Twitter after just a few weeks because they want to hear him talk about Windows or MS Office. Bill is engaging to follow nowadays because he talks about poverty, disease and education – and then puts his money where his mouth is. Lots of it. Almost $300 million for polio, for example.

Engage. Have a *meaningful* conversation.

Think about the folks on Twitter or Facebook whose posts you look forward to. How are they different from yours?

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Note the sign at the end of the video: “Ves como te gusta la opera?”, which translated roughly means ”See how you like opera?”

Point being – how many of those shoppers had ever been to the opera? And how many *more* will consider it after that performance?

Brilliant, guerrilla marketing. Just flippin’ brilliant.

Before you think “I could never do that”…start planning how you could turn your business into performance art, some how, some way.

When the stream in your backyard doesn’t have any fish, fish where the fish are.

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Your competition’s employees in LowRentEconomyIstan are willing to work this hard – and not for $50K a year. Maybe for 50 cents a day.

Someone mentioned to me privately after reading Where were you that if he didn’t know better, he’d think I was trying to put a guilt trip on folks.

He didn’t mention it (though I know he realized it) that my real point was that anyone used to competing locally has already found (or will soon find) themselves competing in a statewide / regional / national / global market.

How you react is the critical thing.

Whaddya do, wait, whine or work?

A friend’s business is facing a similar challenge.

For two decades and then some, they’ve competed against local and in-state firms.

That’s all changed now.

In the last year or so, every single opportunity they’ve bid on has had national and regional players at the table.

My guess is that some of you are experiencing the same thing.

In that environment, in their market, qualifications aren’t likely to even make it into the discussion before local firms get pushed off the table.

The national firm’s materials will make them the obvious choice (where have you heard that before?) because a local firm’s marketing materials, sales expertise and experience will be *normally* be hard pressed to match that of a national firm.

Of course, those processing the bids won’t acknowledge it and they might not even realize they’re doing it because worst case, it happens subconsciously as if they were staring at a pretty girl or a handsome man.

Because they have to compete on a bigger, shinier stage, these firms have honed their image and their materials over years of competing with other national and regional firms. It’s quite possible that some of them have had to battle it out with international competitors.

That leaves the local firm with the same choice we discussed a while back: Wait, Whine or Work.

Again, we circle back to “what other people do”. What do they do to succeed that you don’t yet do? It doesn’t matter how important *you* think these things are. What matters is how important they are in the minds of your customers and prospects.

In simple terms: What’s the market think? How do they buy? Why do they buy? What puts them over the edge?

Your reasons don’t mean much. Theirs mean everything. Either you deal with global competition or it’ll deal with you.

Waiting around for some Senator to “fix” your competitive problem isn’t gonna help. Fix your competitive position yourself. It’s faster and a lot cheaper than a politician.

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photo credit: extranoise

Today’s guest post comes from MarketingCharts.com.

I’m not passing this along so you’ll have an answer in a future game of Trivial Pursuits, but to get you thinking about your market, markets you arent in yet and markets that might impact yours.

Industries in Motion at MarketingCharts.com

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photo credit: TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³

Today’s guest post is from Marc Andreessen, founder of Netscape (yes, that old browser).

It had to be chased down on a web archive site, but it’s clearly worth its weight in gold.

The comment about what’s most valuable you hear from me on and off – but go ahead and hear it in context of a multi-millionaire and maybe it’ll be a little more sticky: Marc Andreessen on what’s most valuable to a business.

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We’ve talked about having fun with your marketing, not just for entertainment but because you’ll stand out from all the stodgy, boring stuff out there

These guys stepped out there and set quite an example. Do you think they generated conversation in their market?

Are you having fun yet? I’d like to hear how you bring fun into your marketing.

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photo credit: Limbo Poet

Many times I’ve suggested that you read Cialdini’s Influence.

Today’s guest post is a follow on to Cialdini – an audio documentary about what makes people buy: “Desire by Design” from American Radioworks.

Enter the conversation in their minds…

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photo credit: Mads Boedker

Last night in the grocery store, 2 moms stopped me in the frozen food section. I thought I was safe since their kids swim with mine on the Columbia Falls Swim Team.

As I stood embarrassingly close to the frozen sausage and egg biscuits and pre-fab hamburger patties, they did it…

They asked me a question about Facebook.

If I remember accurately, it went something like this:

“Mark, What’s with the gibberish-filled crap you post on Facebook?”

Specifically, they asked about posts like “RT @idealfool Lakecam now!!!: http://bit.ly/pfsn0“, specifically wondering if I was speaking Klingon or some other language that few people speak here in Northwest Montana.

They asked because most of the stuff I post on Twitter (anything that isn’t a reply or a direct message) is automatically reposted to Facebook. And then they called me a geek. Ouch.

There’s a business lesson here, so keep up, will ya?

Twitter lingo

Twitter has its own lingo that you pick up pretty quickly if you use it. For example, RT means “retweet”.

When you “Retweet” someone else’s post, you are saying “Someone else posted this and I think its important / funny / stupid /sad / amazingly cool / etc enough to repeat to the folks who read what I post”.

The @ sign is also Twitter-speak (mostly). @WSJ, for example means “The Twitter user named “WSJ”, whose posts you can find at http://www.twitter.com/WSJ”

I don’t think I need to explain HTTP://, but the rest of the URL looks weird and it’s easy to either think it is a typo or a link that no one in their right mind would click on.

Normally you’d expect a .com, but a lot of these URLs coming from Twitter posts end in .ly, .me, .gd and other really short abbreviations rather than .com.

“No way am I clicking on those“, you’re thinking.

These sites are URL shorteners – though it does pay to be careful…

URL shorteners take a really long URL like this: http://ittybiz.com/customers-cant-afford-it/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Ittybiz+%28IttyBiz%29&utm_content=Google+Reader and turn it onto something rather compact like this: http://is.gd/4WLix

The reason URL shorteners are used so much is that Twitter only allows 140 characters in posts placed there. That URL above is longer than Twitter’s message size limit, so my Twitter program automatically shortens it using free services like http://bit.ly, http://is.gd or http://tinyurl.com.

Yeah, but what did you REALLY say?

We’re getting there.

The bit.ly URL in that “RT @idealfool Lakecam now!!!: http://bit.ly/pfsn0” post goes to http://www.nps.gov/ns/featurecontent/glac/webcams/popup-lakemcdonald.html, which is a glorious view of the mountains of Glacier Park as viewed from the south shore of Lake McDonald (cloud cover and darkness notwithstanding) – which is obviously what the original poster means by “Lakecam now!!!“.

@idealfool is the alter ego of Barry Conger, the volunteer Executive Director of the First Best Place Task Force, a seriously cool community organization here in Columbia Falls. Yes folks, Barry is one of those community organizer folks – and he’s read Hildy’s book, so now he’s really becoming dangerous.

Anytime you see an @ followed by a reasonably short name, it’s usually someone’s Twitter name. If you were around during the heyday of CB (citizens’ band) radio, the @idealfool part is pretty much the same as a person’s “handle” on the CB.

And the lesson?

Don’t assume that your wicked cool lingo from one context, group, environment, industry, peer group, media (or whatever) will be crystal clear to and perfectly understood by people in another.

Communication is critical. Don’t assume.

No, I’m not sure how to resolve that in this case without turning off the automatic repost of Twitter messages to Facebook. Yes, I’m thinking about doing exactly that.

Update: Today’s Freakonomics post in the NY Times is another fine example of a message that means one thing in one group and something vastly different to another – the term ”Shovel ready”.

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photo credit: JustinLowery.com

You’ve probably heard the saying “No rest for the wicked” (or weary). Weary might be a better choice in this case.

Should you be scared like the author suggests that Microsoft perhaps should be?

Microsoft, like many successful companies large and small, has reinvented itself before. It’ll probably have to do it again, and perhaps so will Google. I’m not here to help them though.

If Amazon starts selling online to your market and does so with better prices and free shipping – do you just roll over?

I don’t think so, but that’s your choice.

One thing to keep in mind – Never forget what business you’re really in.

If it’s a business in a market that is easily transformed into a commodity, transform how you deliver value. Deliver it to additional markets.

Think a little…

Scared is the wrong word, don’t you think?

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So…what did you do to have a little fun?

Here are a couple of examples:

One of the many coffee shops that I prod now and then came up with this (among other things) for Halloween.

Note the R.I.P. sign, then check out the 2nd image.

Below in the hand of the chalk outline, a familiar green logo. Who could it be?

Wonder how many people commented about that when they got back to their office?

But it wasn’t just retail and restaurants getting into the act. Major colleges did too, like LSU who remade the Michael Jackson Thriller music video:

Good stuff and just a few of the creative examples I’ve come across this week.

PS: For those wondering about the highest adult spending holiday, it’s Valentine’s Day. Get a head start.

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How much is it worth to get recognized in public just for being thoughtful?

Hard to say. On the other hand, what’s it worth to know that a TV personality (or for that matter, *any* customer) will use your company’s service forever (or until you blow it)?

In my mind, a lot.

Since specifics are nice, consider that person might rent a car twice a year for just one day. I figure that might be $80-200 depending on the rental. Multiply that times 20, 30 or 40 years and it adds up.

Now imagine that it happens because just one of your staff members is helpful, thoughtful and does something that really costs you *nothing*. The ROI on thoughtful is pretty good.

Christopher Elliott gave Alamo Rent-a-Car a great testimonial on a major media not long ago because someone at Alamo upgraded his car without him asking, for no cost, simply because of where he was going.

What was *that* testimonial worth? When I walk by Alamo this week in Kalispell, Las Vegas, Seattle and Salt Lake – you can bet I’ll remember it. I wonder how many other viewers will remember…

Quite a strategy that counter person had, thinking about their customers’ welfare and the experience they might have while using their company’s product.

Imagine if it had gone the other way. If he’d gotten stuck, been late, had car trouble that was no fault of the car or Alamo, but simply had troubles because he didn’t rent “enough” vehicle.

Which way do your people think while helping a customer? Is that what you’d want if your grandmother was your customer?

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What if you did the right things and the smart things years before most of your competitors did? Wouldn’t that make life easier?

John Gerzema talks at TEDxKC about the post-crisis consumer (16m 34s), but there are some interesting business nuggets in here as well.

Smart companies, smart consumers

Gerzema talks about a lot of things that make the video interesting from a consumer and business perspective, but 2 things stuck out for me:

1) Some of the discussion is about all the changes that big companies are making to take advantage of the post-crisis consumer’s mindset, even though much of what they are doing are the things that *smart companies* have been doing for years.

They’ve been watching their expenses, tracking their advertising, spending money on investments they can measure, hiring smarter – and they’ve been doing this for years – just like the frugal consumers Gerzema talks about.

2) I found it interesting, and at times mildly amusing, that many of the “new” consumer trends that Gerzema’s team is discovering (presumably in urban areas) have been part and parcel of rural living for as long as anyone can remember. Emphasis on community, volunteering, ethics, “durable living”, not flaunting your bling (had to be said), and the like.

Most small town folks didn’t need the economy to crater to start doing those things.

Those 2 things aside, the 16 minutes is definitely worthwhile, so grab a cuppa joe and enjoy.

What to do next

Now that these things have reached beyond little towns like the ones around me and are reaching deep into urban areas, how can you adjust what your business is doing to get in step with the consumers where you live?

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Rory Sutherland asks how a prospect or customer gets to that place in this 16 minute TED video. Sort of.

How does perceived value impact your business and your clientele’s thinking?

How could it?

It’s not about lying or confusing prospective (and existing) customers.

It’s about making it easier to see the value in what you make or do. You have no more important job and that’s what marketing (and positioning) are all about.

If you sell the best *whatever* in the world but know one seems to know about it, does it really matter how good that *whatever* is?

Making it obvious to the customer why they can’t get to sleep that night without getting their hands on a package of that thing (or service) that you sell. Holy cow, I gotta have that.

Think about it over a bowl of Diamond Shreddies. I suggest the combo pack…

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photo credit: Todd Huffman

Earlier this week, one of my younger Scouts did a presentation on beekeeping to the troop.

His family keeps bees and sells some of the honey as a hobby, so he had some knowledge of the topic and how the bees are handled – but if you are going to talk about a topic like that in front of a group of 11-17 year olds, you gotta come loaded for bear, right Winnie?

Lame puns aside, he did a nice job of talking about how beekeeping is done.

We talked about how they start a hive, where the bees come from, what jobs each type of bee does (sidebar: all teenage boys find the job of the drones a bit fascinating), how the honey (and wax) is made, how many times you get stung, how the honey is harvested and all the cool equipment – including the smoke puffer gun thing, the honey extractor, hot knife and of course, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man beekeepers suit.

40 gallons of sticky-sweet fun

And then it got interesting. Someone asked him what they do with the honey, and how much they have.

His answer was “About 40 gallons stored around the house”, and he wasn’t sure how much they made each year. Someone asked again, “So what do you do with all that?”

“Eat it”, he says. Oh, and we sell some too, adding that he brought a few bottles if anyone wants some.

At this point, I’m thinking “We’re gonna have tasting and its going to be all over fingers, faces, hands and of course – the floor”.

But I was wrong.

That young man was wiser than his years.

He brought freshly-made biscuits, which he laid on the counter and sliced in half. Everyone who wanted some got to slather honey on em before they gobbled them down. These are teenaged boys we’re talking about. Any sort of food is an endangered species around these guys.

Once the honey-fest was over, lots of moms and dads got asked to take some home as a result (not something we do normally, but this was a special occasion – we had BISCUITS!).

What do they sop up your product/service with?

Your turn: What would be the biscuit that transforms the sale of your honey? (whatever your product or service might be)

In particular, think about stuff like this before a presentation, trade show or similar group event. Create the feeding frenzy, even if you sell something like fuel filters. Think about what would make your demonstration make people think “I GOTTA HAVE THAT!”

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photo credit: James Jordan

Legendary marketer and real estate investor/educator Ron LeGrand tells his students and speaking audiences that 82% of his sales come from the 2nd to the 7th contact with a prospective customer.

Dan Kennedy probably has a similar high-percentage number from his business.  The depth of his follow up probably has different numbers whether the follow up is done by phone, email, direct mail and so on.

The numbers themselves are of little use in the big picture. What really matters is that the follow up actually gets done.

How much business would you have if every lead who contacted you at your last trade show got followed up on with a brief personal email or phone call?

How about if they got a call or a postcard a couple of weeks later if they didn’t respond? The card might even give them a way to tell you that their needs have changed so you don’t have to bother them again.

And if you sent them a silly postcard with a bloodhound on it a week or so later, as if you were sending out the hounds?

Probably more than you got if you didn’t do any of those things.

It isn’t just about sales.

Could be follow up after a service call, an equipment repair or a meal delivery. Remember, every job is a sales job.

Back to that 82%

If LeGrand does a million in annual revenue (trust me, he does a lot more) and his follow-up numbers are right, it’s safe to say that he’d only do somewhere around $180,000 if he never followed up.

Just a little bit of improvement by doing that one thing (and yes, maybe by doing it up to 6 times).

Maybe it’d be different for you. How will you know?

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photo credit: juhansonin

Today is Talk like a Pirate Day (TLAPD).

In honor of such a fine day, a few thoughts, er I mean… Aye, what would a pirate do t’ strenghen your business today? A pence for an old man o’de sea?

First, how about sliding over to Mashable and look at their tips for celebrating Talk like a Pirate Day… and then come back here for some pirate advice before you get business scurvy, matey.

Great ideas for celebrating the day, but bummer – your business is open on September 19 every year. Now what?

Wasn’t that awesome Mashable post a great example? Mashable is a tech news blog. See how they took TLAPD and turned it into their own – while doing exactly what they do best?

Yes, it’s your turn.

So…what can you do to (here it comes *again*) use the news (calendarrrr, whateverrrr) to make your business stand out on this fine, fun day?

Maybe by the time you see this, it’s too late.

Let me help: Put it in your appointment calendar for August 19. Make it recurring on an annual reminder. Type this: “Plan Sept 19 Talk Like A Pirate Day promotion.”

Yarrr, some examples

“But Mark, our business doesn’t have anything to do with pirates…” (Yes, I *can* hear you saying that)

OK, some examples are in order to get your creative juices flowing.

Maybe you make custom coffee mugs for the day that you only use on Talk Like a Pirate Day. Or you order a gross of them for cheap and give them away with today’s purchases. Of course, the mugs will have a silly pirate image, your phone number, URL, etc.

If you own a boat store, raise the pirate flag, silly. Dress everyone up like a pirate, or have some temps come in and dress up like pirates. You of all people should be able to hit this one out of the, uh, dungeon.

Own a lingerie store? If you can’t see some great ideas to get publicity using TLAPD and some temp models, you really need a cuppa joe:)  Hint: Imagine it was Talk like a French Maid Day. Now translate that to pirate.

Run a computer store? What a great time to have a “Bring your computer in and scan it for pirates (ie: spyware etc) Day”. Or to have an event that educates your clients about software piracy (find a smart way, please), or similar.

Develop software? What a GREAT day to offer amnesty to anyone who pirated your software and is ready to come clean. They liked it enough to steal it and keep using it, now they’re convinced that they have right product. Help them buy. Don’t embarrass them.

Do you run blood drives? Put your “I donated” stickers on toy eye patches. You can get half a million of them for $3 at Oriental Trading (well, close) or make them yourselves (a fun event for kids). Dress everyone up. Don’t be so boring. It’s just blood.

No matter what you do, make a fuss…matey.

Promote your event far and wide, have some fun with it, dress up your staff or those temps I mentioned and be that purple cow.

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